Words to Live By For Brian … Getting Married Saturday

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NINE WORDS WOMEN USE

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm.  This mean s something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission.  Don’t Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men.  A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing.  (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man.  That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7)Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint.  Just say you’re welcome.  (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says, ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all.  DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’… that will bring on a ‘whatever’).

(8) Whatever: Is a woman’s way of saying… Go to H…

(9) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself.  This will later result in a man asking, ‘What’s wrong?’  For the woman’s response refer to #3.

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